That stuff is for the commoners, we’re too good for that.” -Mr. Money
Ahhh where do I start? Commoner. That would be you. The person reading my words right now. Don’t worry I’m a commoner right along with you. According to Mr. Money a commoner is what I have now become since leaving his privileged lifestyle. It’s a word that Mr. Money found great joy in using whenever he could. When I was searching for a library when I first moved to his town he would say That shit is for the commoners just buy them. When I suggested we go to a movie on a Friday night he would say That shit is for the commoners lets go during the day and catch the matinee. I wish I could say the last one was about frugality, but oh no he just didn’t want to be around a lot of people. Being around a lot of “common folk” was beneath him. He was not one to go with the masses. Everything we did had to be “different” or not done at all. We ate dinner no later than 4pm. We fucked no later than 2pm on a set schedule. Oh and the clincher was that we could never fuck while he had a full stomach. He wasn’t able to get it up unless he was damn near starved. I wish I could say I was making this up. I laugh about the ridiculousness of this now. How the hell did I survive in this circus for so long?
That is the question I asked myself yesterday while standing at the counter of my new job at 4:30am. Yes, my new job. It is the main reason why I have not been writing for the past few days. I found two part time jobs that leave me little time to do anything besides eating and sleeping. And I am completely ok with that. I have become a commoner once again and I love it! Not that I ever stopped being one, but you know what I mean. So this new morning job is nothing special, nothing exciting or elite. It’s just plain old greeting and checking in our customers. Though I’ve only been there for three days I’ve gotten the nicest compliments. “Wow you’re really chipper in the early morning, that’s nice to see”. “I’ve never met anyone so…pleasant”. “It’s too early to be smiling…look you have my wife smiling and she never smiles lol”. I wish I could tell each and every one of them my story. I wish I could tell them how I used to wake up depressed and sad for months. Or how I used to abuse Ambien because my body was always on alert and wouldn’t let me fall asleep naturally. But I don’t and can’t say these things. I just let them assume I ingested a great deal of coffee and that is the reason I’m bouncing off walls. They will never know I’m super happy because I’m finally free. Free to live life on my own terms. Free to happily serve them without someone in my ear telling me I’m too good for this. Free because I finally found a job. Free to be around people my own age again.
Man that last one feels good. Being around people my own age again. I forgot how nice it was to have people to relate to. People to joke around and shoot the breeze with. Mr. Money was 32 years my senior. I cringe as I typed that. Don’t judge me. I can already see the looks of shock, disappointment and ewwwe-ness on your faces. Trust that I have seen and heard it all before. The nasty looks older women would give me. The weird side eye glances people my age would throw my way. The uncomfortable feeling I got as older men would stare at us probably wondering how Mr. Money landed such a young piece of ass.
But not here. Here I’m just the naturally happy woman greeting them with genuine smiles and laughter. The woman helping them with problems without an attitude. The woman who wakes up Monday through Friday at 3:30am just to make sure their day gets started on the right foot. So, if this makes me a commoner I’ll choose it over sex schedules & starvation any day.
Love & Light
I am very happy to hear that you are more relieved/happy/yourself since you’ve been on your own.
I did a double take when I read the bit about the sex schedule or having to be damn near starved. You picked yourself up from a lot, and I’m sure we haven’t even gotten half the story. I have to say I respect you for this.
Hoping you feel a bit more free every day,
Kendall
it feels sooo good to be a “commoner” huh?! Welcome back to living life and having fun. Glad to hear things are “chipper” for you once again! We commoners are waaay better than those elitists!!
Wow, that is intense. I think this is a time of a lot of self-discovery in terms of knowing just how much you can push yourself. You have a very sincere and absorbing way of writing =)
Darling, there are no “commoners” and there are no “elitists.” Not really. There are just people who are comfortable in their own skins and people who are insecure in varying degrees. You were a skilled, successful, high-functioning woman and this man (and others like him – beware) wanted that spirit in you (which he either lost or never had) and will take it, control it, try to bottle it and end up destroying it. It’s the spiritual essence of a full-blown woman.
And now all your energy and resources are yours again. Don’t let anybody take it away from you again. Encourage it? Yes. Complement and compliment it? Yes. Give to it and make it soar? Yes. But never take, dampen, diminish, mock, put down.
The longer I live, the more I see how insecure most people are. I’m not blaming them – we aren’t taught to be secure, to trust ourselves, to be confident. We rarely think about what a wonderful world it would be if everyone felt confident, non-threatened.
I also find that many men are seriously repressed in the play department, as this man surely was. This is death to a spirited playful woman. He was also jealous of your youth, beauty and talent I’d say, which is why he tried to keep you all to himself, slathering you with “things.” No thing can take the place of simple, natural beauty. And people who are born into wealth are not usually this pretentious – became they are not insecure.
And don’t ever beat yourself up for this experience. If we aren’t making mistakes, we probably aren’t growing. That’s how we learn – lessons we NEVER forget. Just give yourself time to get the full benefit of it. I think you will. You are wonderful! Thanks for sharing.
(You know I speak from experience, I assume. And more than one – but I’m blonde…)
i dated a guy once who always had to be different from everyone else, and not even for a reason. it was just LOOK AT ME IM DIFFERENT.
it used to drive me crazy. the idea of someone like that with money frightens the shit out of me.
So…how exactly did you meet Mr. Money and convince yourself that you love him enough to go on a sex schedule? You don’t sound stupidly blonde and I don’t understand how you drove yourself into a life like this.
bahaha, I think that’s so funny that he wanted you to stay away from the library. Seriously? That’s crazy. I love checking out books from the library- I wonder if the past reader got the same experience from it as I did, or if they hated it, if they read it in bed or in a chair, at their work desk or outside when it was sunny but cool. Books that you buy are blank slates. Boring.
Love the post and thanks for the comment.
You are right, but we shall see what happens. One day I will be following in your footsteps and people will think that I’m high on coffee too, haha
Wow. I am in love with your blog.
You’re fabulous x
lovin’ this blog so far! i’m currently in a casual sugar daddy relationship, so far it’s been very beneficial to the both of us, but i’m taking your blog very seriously–first sign of trouble, i’m out!
Thanks for your comment! I agree – right now, money is money, regardless of how overqualified we are! Love your blog!
I guess, in the end all we need is a little bit of money, little bit of fame, and a little bit of love. Rest is just the waste.
I’m glad you found a job…you sounded so devastated before because you were searching and searching!!!! Now I agree with Carol…there are people who are comfortable with themselves in society and those who want to be recluse because they are not comfortable with themselves…Time of change has begun for you … keep moving forward…you will continue to feel this high of life and you will continue to move forward
there’s no judging – none at all.
be who are you are, and dont regret anything you’ve done, or even try to explain it.
we accept you as you are!
I stumbled upon your blog, and read it word for word.. Pls continue, I admire your strength and cannot wait to read somemore.. Good Luck
I’m glad you found the strength to leave Mr.Money. He sounds like a shithead. Honest work for hard-earned money is the best way to be happy.. Be strong
Hi, I really like your blog! You must post more (if your job allows it). You posted a comment on my blog as part of the BlogSecret entry, which is how I found you. Keep writing. I love what I have read so far. You are an inspiration.
Tis a delightful thing to stumble upon a blog at its beginning…i’ll be looking forward to seeing how this story unfolds.
Thank you for your words.
It is good to find your center, to be relaxed, to be with people in your own age range/outlook.
Enjoy yourself and don’t give up.